


Don't Break

by smilekidd



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, It's really just an arguement fic, but it's still sweet, post college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28204116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilekidd/pseuds/smilekidd
Summary: They were toxic.They were dysfunctional.They were broken.Yet, still, somehow they were perfect.- -"You said you didn't remember her name. So I would just like to know which one of my nicknames you decided she could borrow for the moment." She's staring at him, arms folded as she waits for him to find a response.But he doesn't have one. Not one that's going to be good enough to Lydia. He knows it isn't enough, but he says it anyway.
Relationships: Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski
Kudos: 22





	Don't Break

**Author's Note:**

> I found this old fic in one of my digital journals I used to write in. I thought it was still pretty cute, so I made a few edits and here we are!

They were toxic.

They were dysfunctional.

They were broken.

"We can't keep doing this to each other." It came out so low he almost didn't hear it. But he hears everything she says, even when he tries to ignore her.

She's staring at him with tears in her eyes and, although she won't let them fall, there's still a trail on her face where they've ruined her make up. He can see how heavily she's breathing through the heaving of her chest.

"We can't do what to each other?" He asks. He knows they argue way too much. He knows their relationship isn't healthy right now. But that doesn't mean it will always be this way. 

"This, Stiles!" She exclaims, frantically pointing between the two of them. "We can't keep doing this!"

"What is 'this', Lydia?" he responds as he feels his heart rate increase significantly. He's struggling to look into her eyes now. Their emerald color usually captivated him; they were one of the many reasons he fell in love with her. But, when they are filled with the amount of pain they are now, he doesn't feel strong enough to look in them. Knowing he's the main cause for her heartache, he doesn't even feel like he deserves to look her in the eye.

"This," she points between them again. "Us, we can't do this anymore." A tear threatens to leave her eye as her voice breaks. Stiles can feel his heartbeat in his throat, and he's pretty sure she can see it leaping out of his neck.

"Lydia..." he whispers, his shoulders falling when he reaches out to her. She responds by shaking her head.

"We just keep hurting each other, Stiles. This isn't healthy anymore." She's biting her lip to prevent him from seeing how much it's quivering. If she's going to do this then she has to stay strong. She knows she doesn't have a true backbone when it comes to him, and if he says the right thing they'll fall right back into the same pattern of self destructing behavior.

"Babe, please just-"

"No, don't do that," she interrupts, viciously shaking her head and her pointer finger. "Do not 'babe' me right now."

"Lydia," he fixes. He takes a step forward and reaches out for her, only to have his heart break a little more when she backs away.

Lydia scoffs, stuck on the fact that he called her babe. Something about that word still doesn't sit right with her. "Did you call her that?" she interrogates. The question catches him off guard.

"What?"

"When you were with her, did you call her 'babe'?" She asks again, the pain in her eyes quickly being replaced with anger.

"Lydia, what? No! No I didn't call her babe!" He quickly responds. "Why are you asking me this?"

"You said you didn't remember her name. So, I would just like to know which one of my nicknames you decided she could borrow for the moment." She's staring at him, arms folded as she waits for him to find a response.

But he doesn't have one. Not one that's going to be good enough to Lydia. He knows it isn't enough, but he says it anyway.

"Lydia, I didn't call her anything," he starts. She goes to speak again but he continues, "I didn't call her anything because I didn't do anything with her."

"But you thought about it." His shoulders drop and his head hangs lower as he sighs at her rebuttal. He knows there's no way out, so he might as well just stick to honesty.

"Yes," he brokenly admits. Lydia scoffs as she shakes her head and makes her way into their kitchen. "I only thought about it for one second, Lydia, I swear," he pleads as he follows her.

"Lydia please," he pleads once more. "I didn't do anything with her! Why are we arguing right now? I didn't do anything!" he frustratingly yells.

"You didn't have to!" She yells back. "You thought about it. You got drunk and you thought about hooking up with someone else."

"No that's not-" his head shakes as he tries to interrupt her.

"You should think of me when you get drunk, Stiles, me!" She points at her chest as she yells. He's amazed by her will in this moment. Her voice is breaking, her chest is heaving faster than before, and tears are still welling up in her eyes. But they aren't falling, and he knows it's because she doesn't want him to see her cry.

Another sigh leaves the brunette's mouth. They've been here before, too many times, and he's exhausted. But he loves her. It didn't matter what went on between them or how bad they might have seemed for each other, he knew he wanted her for life. Even if arguing was all they did for the rest of eternity, he'd take it.

But he won't let them argue like this anymore. She deserves better than that.

"Lydia, I do think of you. I did!" He takes another step toward her, only to watch her back up again. Another tear slips out of his eye when he looks at her.

"Please, Lyds, you have to believe me," he begs before continuing "I wouldn't do that to you." He regrets that statement as soon as it comes out because-

"You have!" she shouts. She goes to push his chest, but he catches her wrists.

He continues to hold her as she tries to push and shove at him. The strawberry blonde can't hold it in anymore. The tears stream down her face as she thinks of all the times they've been here before. All the times he's come home after a night out smelling of alcohol and another woman. She hates that he can do this to her, that he can get her like this.

He makes her angry and insecure because she doesn't understand why she isn't enough for him. He spent his whole life waiting for her to realize she loved him. Still, for some reason, he keeps going to other women when they argue. It was infuriating.

"You drink, you get drunk, you come home to me. That's how it should be Stiles!" she starts yelling again. "You should think of me!" her arms are moving frantically as she tries her hardest to hit him. She wants him to feel what she feels in her chest when he does this to her.

His breath catches in his throat as she fully breaks down in his arms. She's sobbing now, everything she's held in up to this point crashing into her like a ton of bricks. He bites his lip as he holds the head of his sobbing girlfriend against his chest. The brunette all but loses it when he hears her brokenly whisper, "Why don't you ever think of me?" through her sobs.

He may not have done anything this time, but he has in the past. The pain in her eyes, the ache in her heart, they are all his doing and he knows it. He finally had the girl of his dreams and he broke her. Over and over and over again. And now he had to hope that she would stay long enough to let him pick up the pieces and mend what he had shattered.

"Lydia, I do think of you. I do, I always do," Stiles cried as he held his girlfriend.

She's clutching the sides of his t-shirt, melting into his arms as she loses the internal battle to stay strong. The uncontrollable sobs punching through her chest serve as her surrender. He hurt her, and yet her most comforting spot is in his arms. 

Too many emotions are running through her right now and it's suffocating. It's too much. She needs space. She needs to get away from him and and she needs to do it now.

Lydia pushes herself out Stiles' arms and, without a word, starts making her way to the back door. She needs to go outside, needs to create space between them. But she couldn't escape him. Everywhere she went, everywhere she looked he was there.

He was there when she looked at their star wars cups on the counter and remembered the moment they bought them.

_ _ _

_She was standing in line at the grocery store as she waited for Stiles to come back with one of the items they forgot to grab. As she noticed him rushing back to her she realized he either couldn't find what they needed, or got distracted in the process of looking. Before she could even ask why he had two character cups in his hands, he was already explaining. "Lyds, Scott and I are going to need something to drink out of when we have our movie marathons," he reasoned with her. "It's a necessity if you really think about it."_

_She giggled as she raised a playful eyebrow at him. "A necessity?" she asked, his head nodding in response. "Because we don't already have cups at the house that you guys could drink out of right?"_

_"Not ones specifically dedicated to our movie marathons." All she could do was laugh and shake her head as she watched him carefully place them on the seat of the cart._

__ _ __

He was there when she would step into the shower and relish in the memory of their first night in this house.

_ _ _

_To say Lydia was exhausted was an understatement. After an entire day of moving and unpacking, all she wanted was a hot shower and a night of cuddling her boyfriend in their new bed. She smiled at her last thought. Their bed, their room, their house. Lydia didn't think she'd ever get tired of saying that. Eager to use the new rain showerhead, Lydia broke herself out of her thoughts and quickly made her way into their en-suite bathroom._

_Standing under the water, Lydia determined this had to be heaven and there was little in life that would better than the moment she was in right now. There was one thing that could make the moment better, however, and he was currently wrapping his arms around her naked torso._

_A happy hum escaped her lips as she leaned into the hold of her naked boyfriend. "I see someone thought they were going to break in our new shower without me," Stiles teased as he place a trickle of kisses down her neck._

_"Hmm, I knew you'd find me once you heard the water turn on," Lydia smiled._

_Stiles chuckled as his hands caressed the soft, wet skin of his girlfriend's sides. "I always do, don't I?" Lydia giggled and nodded as she turned to face him. Like clockwork, he could feel his heart melt as her met her gaze._

_With her arms wrapped around his neck, their lips met for a sweet kiss. "Exactly how exhausted are you right now?" Stiles asked as he pressed his forehead to hers._

_Lydia grinned, knowing fully well why he was asking. "Mmm, I think I could gather enough energy to officially break in our new shower," she purred before meeting his lips again._

_"Don't forget to save some for that new bed of ours," Stiles reminded. Lydia smiled through their kiss, wondering how the hell she got so lucky to find herself here with Stiles. Soon enough they were fully entangled in each other, getting fully acquainted with their new home._

__ _ __

There was no way to escape him and it wasn't fair. Everywhere she looked she could conjure up a memory of a moment with him that she held dear to her heart. Cooking dinner in their kitchen, slow dancing to old music in their living room, laughing over drinks on their back porch. The list goes on and on.

'Their' this and 'their' that. God she was really starting to hate that word. They had spent their entire lives together, from elementary school to now. But they were starting to build a new life together in a different way. One where she could rely on a sleepy Stiles standing by the coffee machine with her breakfast and coffee, waiting for her to kiss him and rush off to work. One where she would surprised him with one of his favorite desserts after an incredibly long, draining day at the station. One where they designated every third Saturday of each month to cuddling up on the couch, watching movies and solving puzzles.

They were finally becoming a package deal, a single entity if you will. But, what if that's where they went wrong? What if they weren't destined to be a single entity? What if they weren't as mean-to-be as everyone thought they were?

Sure, someone else might think she's overreacting. Stiles hadn't actually done anything with whatever the bimbo's name was this time. But Lydia wasn't even concerned with whether or not he'd slept with that girl. It was about every single time they have been in this position before. Regardless of whether it was a result of her actions or his, it was too fucking often. She felt like they were both addicts in their own relationship; constantly repeating harmful patterns, admitting themselves to rehab, only to mess up as soon as temptation takes over.

Who the fuck wants to be in a relationship that is best comparable to a relapsing drug addict?

Not her. As hard as they have been fighting to make things okay again, it just wasn't happening. Maybe she just had to accept that the love of her life may not be the man she's supposed to end up with. But how the hell was she supposed to accept that?

Lydia cried as she sat at the table on their deck, resting her forehead on the knees she was clutching to her chest. She tried to imagine a life without Stiles. The more she tried, the more it hurt. She went from asking, " What the hell is a Stiles?" to wondering what the hell life was without him. If she was being truly honest with herself, she didn't really want to have to figure it out.

Hours passed as Lydia contemplated which pain she could tolerate more; life with Stiles or life without. The cool temperature of the California night started to creep in, but Lydia couldn't feel anything other than the ache in her chest.

Inside Stiles sat on the staircase, elbows on his knees as he hunched over and rested his head in the palm of his hands. He fucked up. Again. If she ever thought about leaving him before, she damn sure was going to do it now. He was sure of it.

And, although he knew he deserved it, he knew that wasn't what he wanted. How the hell was he supposed to adjust to a life where he didn't wake up entangled with her every morning? He wasn't going to be able watch her wiggle her hips the way she does when she brushes her teeth? How could he be expected to come home at night, knowing that he wouldn't be met with the most mesmerizing smile he has ever seen?

That's not a life he wanted. Not now, not ever. 

He wanted to hear the sound of her laugh whenever he would make a stupid joke. He wanted to be able to feel her lean into him whenever he would hug her from behind. He wanted be the one she came to when life got hard. He just wanted a life where he was hers and she was his. For now, and forever.

Stiles knew the best thing to do in this moment was to give Lydia the space she wanted. If he could just get her to let him explain, then all of this could blow over. She had been sitting outside for hours, and it was getting cold out there. He wasn't sure if she'd listen, but he had to try to get her inside the house.

As expected, she made no move when he opened the door to step outside. He was nervous to say anything right away, so he leaned against the door as several moments passed in silence. Eventually Stiles spoke up.

"Lyds, can you at least come in the house?" he asked weakly. She ignored him. He sighed before continuing, "Lydia, please, just come inside. It's getting cold out here." When she ignored him again, Stiles started to make his way toward her.

"I'm fine, Stiles, just leave me alone right now," were the first words she had said to him in hours. 

"I'll leave you alone, I just want you to come inside," he softly pleaded, slowly inching closer to his girlfriend. Stiles sighed as she ignored him once more. Hesitantly, he walked toward her. "Lydia..."

She leaned her head back in annoyance as she sat up to look at him. "Stiles, for fuck's sake, I just want to be alone. If I get too cold I'll go inside," she huffed, one leg dropping to the ground as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

Taking in her tear stained cheeks, Stile noted that meeting her eyes hurt even more than he thought it would. He has to momentarily breaks the eye contact as he realizes she hasn't stopped crying since she came out here. 

They spend a few moments just looking at each other before he sits in the chair across from her. She hated how immature she felt, but she couldn't help the roll of her eyes and the puff of air that came out as she crossed her arms and sat back into her chair. 

"Did I not just say I wanted-"

"I know what you said. And I said I'd give it to you, but we have to talk about this."

Stiles watches as Lydia rolls her eyes and shakes her head with a laugh. "What is there to talk about, Stiles?"

"Everything? We haven't gotten anywhere."

"That's because there's nowhere to go!" Lydia starts, arms darting out in front of her. "We've been here time and time again, walking around in fucking circles and getting absolutely nowhere!" 

"Well, let's make this time different," he tries.

She scoffs. "Different?" she lets out an incredulous laugh. "Different, Stiles, are you kidding me? What the hell do you expect to be 'different' about this time compared to all the others?"

His hand reaches to scratch the back of his head. "I don't know, Lydia, I just want us to try to figure something out so we don't end up here again. I don't want us to keep hurting each other like this anymore." 

"Okay, I feel the same way. But my solution doesn't involve talking. There's no need for it," she starts. "There is absolutely nothing we'll say in this conversation that we haven't said before. 'We've both made mistakes.' 'We need to communicate better.' 'We love each other, we can get through anything'. It's all bullshit at this point." Another frustrated laugh leaves her mouth as she shakes her head and looks away from the brunette sitting in front of her.

"Lydia, please-"

"Stiles, there's nothing left to say. That's it."

It's his turn to scoff now. "That's it?"

She nods as she looks back at him. "That's it. It's done. It's over."

His breath hitches in his throat as he hears her say it. Chocolate meets emerald as he pleads to her with his eyes. "Lydia," Stiles breathes. He watches as her lip quivers and more tears well up in her eyes. As tears well up in his own, he pleads, "Please don't do this..."

"I'll have my stuff out by the end of the week," Lydia states as she stands up and makes her way inside. Stiles is directly behind her.

"Lydia, no. This isn't it. We can just, we can take a day or two and just regroup and then we can figure out how to be better for each other," he stutters in desperation as he follows her up to their bedroom. "We love each other, Lyds, come on. It's been us forever. It is us forever." He reaches for her hand to turn her around to face him.

"Baby, please," he cries. "Like you said, we've both made mistakes. We've both slept with other people, but that didn't happen this time! Neither of us have fucked up like that in over a year, that has to count for something!" He searches her eyes before continuing. "I got drunk, I entertained a girl that was flirting with me, but I remembered that I had the woman of my dreams waiting for me at our home, in our bed. Why would I ruin what we've worked so hard to fix?"

Lydia breaks the eye contact as she shakes her head and grabs her suitcase from the floor of their closet, only to have it ripped from her hands as quickly as she picked it up. "Stiles!"

"No, Lydia, you're not leaving because of this!"

Lydia glares at him before reaching to rip the suitcase back from his hold. "It's not just this, Stiles! It's-" 

"Every time before, I know," he interrupts as he gently pushes the strawberry blonde out of the way and sets the suitcase down in its place. Not only can he hear his girlfriend's angry huff behind him, but he can feel the daggers she's digging into his skin with her eyes.

"We can work through this, Lydia," he starts as he turns to face her. "I was honest with you, which is exactly what you told me you wanted, is it not?" She just stares at him, so he continues. "We promised each other we would fight for us until there was absolutely nothing to left to fight for."

"Which there isn't," Lydia states as she shifts her weight to one leg and crosses her arms. Their eyes meet for a moment, but Stiles doesn't miss a beat.

"You don't really believe that." 

Lydia squints as her blood continues to boil. The way he so confidently stated that pisses her off. "I do," she retorts.

"You don't." Stiles takes a step forward, now almost towering over his 5'3 love. Their eyes are locked on one another, bloodshot and tear-ridden. "You spent hours outside, Lydia. If you truly believed there was nothing left to fight for you would have started packing the moment you felt you needed air."

He gains a little confidence as he observes the subtle changes in her body language. Her eyes are still full of anger, but for a moment she breaks their eye contact. Her lips purse as she tightens her arms that are crossed over chest. It's almost as if he broke a piece of her wall down and she had to reset. An angry huff escapes as she refocuses her gaze on him, stabbing the daggers deeper into his skin than before. 

Stiles takes her silence as permission to continue. 

"If you need air, fine I'll give you air. If you want space, okay I can give you that too. You need time? Take as much as you need. But I'm not giving up on us," he starts, searching her eyes as he takes another step forward. "He reaches for her hand, only to sigh in defeat as she takes another step away from him. "You're pissed, and I get it. But I know you still believe we're worth fighting for."

He was right and it infuriated her. Who the hell told her to date a detective? He reads people for a living and he's been reading her since they were kids. 

"Stiles," she started, but he interrupted her.

"Just, just wait okay? Can you just come with me?" he asked. Although she was annoyed and exhausted, Lydia was intrigued. She sighed and took his outstretched hand, following behind as he led her out of their bedroom, through their hallway, and into their living room.

'Their' this, 'their' that. It didn't take much time for Lydia to understand what he was doing.

"Look around, Lyds," Stiles started. "Look at what we've built so far. You have your doctorate and are working in the career field of your dreams. I'm getting ready to join the FBI. We bought our first home together." Lydia watched as he gently flailed his arm, gesturing to the house. 

"Baby, there's an empty guest room upstairs waiting to be turned into a nursery. We've just started building this life together, but we have plans. There's so much more for us to do as a team, so let's do it." His voice is a whisper and his eyes are frantically searching hers. A fresh well of tears pool in her eyes from listening to him mention the plans they've made for their future. 

Lydia bites her quivering lip as she glances away for a moment. "Stiles," is all she manages to say as she locks her gaze back on him. Stiles' eyes become more puppy-like by the second and she can tell he's terrified that she'll leave. But he says something that caught her off guard.

"We're not in college anymore Lyds," he brokenly whispers. Her face scrunches in a mixture of confusion and shock. "I know that's where your head is because that's where all of this started. But we aren't separated by thousands of miles anymore, we're right here. We've already made so many adjustments, broken so many bad habits to make this work. We can't go back to being that couple, baby, things are different now."

"But you're still doing the same things," she rasps as a tear slid down her cheek.

Stiles shakes his head. "I'm not, Lydia, I promise. She came onto me, I laughed it off, and I kept it pushing. Yes, I was mad from our fight. Yes, I thought about what I would've done if this was two years ago. But I also thought about what I would be losing if I did that."

Stiles pauses for a moment, swallowing the knot in his throat. "Lydia, you are everything to me. You have to know that. My world doesn't exist without you in it, it never has. Maybe that sounds a little codependent, but I don't give a damn. You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You're the one I want to be the mother of our children. You're the one I want to be waking up to when we're 80 years old and wrinkly." Stiles' heart flutters as Lydia lets out short laugh. Maybe there was still hope.

Taking a risk, Stiles bends down to lean his forehead against Lydia's. "I don't care what I have to do to make this better. But whatever it is, baby, I'll do it."

Lydia pulls away slightly, her teary eyes darting back and forth as she searches his. "Nothing else happened?" Lydia questions, receiving a gentle head shake as her boyfriend's response. 

"Nothing," he reassures. She nods and presses her head into his chest as she loosely wraps her arms around his torso. He hugs her to him and rests his chin on the top of her head. They were quiet for a moment, both suffocating in the intensity of their emotions. 

Stiles breaks the silence. "Lydia, let's make a pact right now."

"Hmm?" Lydia hums against his chest.

Stiles pulls back to lock eyes with his girlfriend. "Sometimes we'll fight, we'll bend, but we won't break," he whispers. Lydia notices the hitch in his breathing and her heart just about bursts as she watches him fight falling apart. "We don't break, Lydia. Not us."

The strawberry blonde took a moment to answer, fully understanding the difference in agreeing with his statement and what she intended to do earlier. He was right when he said they'd worked so hard to break old habits. Was she still upset about this, absolutely. But maybe her emotions were heightened by the many fights they went through in college, constantly cheating and riling each other up out of spite. But they were 27 now, and truly at the start of their new life together. Staring at the man she's loved since she was 16, she comes to a conclusion.

"Not us," she repeats, earning a relieved and loving smile from her chocolate eyed love. Stiles reaches up to cup her face and presses his lips to hers. "You have a lot of making up to do," she teasedsthrough kisses.

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to."

As she melts into their gentle kiss, Lydia fully accepts that there was no one else she would want to weather this storm with. Stiles was her forever, and whatever came along with that they would handle together.

At times they might have seemed toxic, dysfunctional, even broken. Yet, still, somehow they were perfect.


End file.
